"Nothing Ever Goes As Planned"

"If You Want To Hear God Laugh, Tell Him Your Plans."

That's a quote that sits on my desk to remind me that just when you think you've got it all under control, WHAM! No you don't. I don't know who said it or when they said it, but I love it because it's true everyday on some level.

A few weeks ago, my wife was involved in a very bad car accident. While sitting at a red light, at a complete stop mind you, she was rear-ended by an inexperienced 19 year-old driver. The impact pushed her Toyota Camry into the Subaru in front of her which was pushed into the Toyota SUV in front of it. Four cars in all were involved. Needless to say, my wife's car was totaled and my wife sustained neck and back injuries. Having been a firefighter for 6 years, it was easy to estimate the speed at which the kid was traveling to be about 50 MPH. He pushed three parked cars putting 2 people in the hospital. The infant in the Toyota SUV was shaken up but not hurt.

So, you ask, what does this have to do with your wedding? I think you know where I'm going with this. You know how important it is to have everything go exactly right the day of your wedding. For the better part of a year you have been researching and planning and stressing over every detail. The napkins, the table linens, centerpieces, favors, invitations, flowers, isle runner - the list goes on and on. You get tunnel vision- becoming completely absorbed by every aspect of the planning and all of the emotion that goes into it. It needs to be perfect.

Well, perfect only exists in our minds and in the movies so let's let that thought go right now. I know that in previous blogs I've covered this subject but in light of my wife's accident I thought it was important to share with you the reality of just how fragile and insignificant we all are. The phone call I got that day could have been a lot worse and could have ended much differently. Instead of being told my wife was in an accident, the call could have requested that I come down to identify the body. Now, imagine that!

Now, imagine that happening the day of your wedding. Horrifying, isn't it? Having said that, tell me - what could possibly go so wrong the day of your wedding that could possibly be worse than that? That's right, nothing. Anything that goes wrong the day of your event is insignificant if everyone you love and hold dear is alive and well. Let the cake fall or melt. So what if the ice sculpture is a fish when you wanted a mermaid? Who cares if there's no surf with the turf because the kitchen forgot to thaw out the shrimp. Big deal, the limosine is black instead of white. Okay, okay it's pouring outside - so you get wet! Oops, the CD that your father burned last night for the DJ to use as your first dance won't play on his equipment! (all of those scenarios have actually happened to some of our brides ) It's no big deal. An inconvenience, yes - but big deal?, no!

Please don't misunderstand my point here. I'm not saying that as a wedding professional I don't care if your wedding day isn't perfect, because I do care. My wife and I have caught many things that, if left unchecked, would have turned into a small disaster. As an example, we have walked into a room to find that the florist never came and all the flowers were missing from the tables. Groomsmen about to walk down the aisle without boutonnieres attached to their lapels. Cakes sliding or falling off of the cake table from the heat of the day or not decorated at all because the florist left without finishing the fresh-flower look the bride wanted. The list could go on.

I hope that after reading this you understand the intention with which I wrote it, especially if you're on the edge from wedding planning stress and ready to lose it. My wish is that you keep your plans grounded and face reality square on. Don't let your mind's expectation ruin the most beautiful day of your life by raising the bar so high, reality can't live up to it. It happens to more brides than you know and it's not funny when we see a bride have a melt down. Nothing is worth ruining your day over. To be honest, we've seen some brides throw a wedding together in a few months that goes as well or better than some weddings that were a year or more in the making. Sometimes less time to plan equals less time to stress, however, I would guess that a bride who can plan a wedding in a few months is also the type of bride that would let a lot more roll off of her back if something weren't perfect.

So, remember what's truly important - like the people that you love and that nothing ever goes as planned, but every once in a while perfection happens - in spite of all of life's twists and turns - and that's the best you can hope for.