Wedding Sense

Hold That Date!

2008-11-16T18:14:00.000-08:00

As our 2008 wedding season draws to a close and we gear up for Christmas and holiday events, I wanted to get back to some blogging and quickly touch upon a subject that many times is of great distress for brides; Vendors that do not hold dates for brides and grooms.

While each entertainer has his/her own way of running his/her business, most professionals I know will not hold a date for a client indefinitely without a deposit. Still, many brides will post on blog sites such as (“The Knot”), that they were upset when an entertainer that they met with last month simply “booked their date out from under them”.

While I cannot defend another entertainer when I do not know what was or was not promised, I can say this; when you make a living as an entertainer, many times you must strike while the iron is hot and fill your calendar with the client that is ready to commit to the date. Imagine our frustration when a client leaves our office and days or sometimes even hours later, the phone rings with another bride wanting the same date and willing to meet immediately to sign a contract.

[ It leaves the disc jockey in a tight spot. Do we tell the bride that is ready to book that we have another bride interested in her date, (even though she has left no deposit, and risk losing a paying client), or do we make the appointment and take the commitment from a bride who is ready to secure her entertainer? ]

Please, I’m asking all who read this to pay attention when you meet with your potential entertainers. If they promise to hold your date for you, even if you have left without giving them a deposit, then they should do just that – hold your date. However, if they made it clear that they do not hold dates without a deposit, you must be fully prepared when you walk out of their office without leaving a deposit, that you are playing a game of chance – especially if they are entertainers that are in high demand.

You really have to put yourself in their place before you get upset. Imagine making your living by selling your services and people ask you to commit to them without giving a commitment back to you in the form of a deposit. Where do you stand with that client? Will they call you back to let you know that they chose someone else? Probably not – after all, that’s a difficult message to deliver.

As you may have guessed, the reason for the subject of this blog is because we are faced, as I type this, with two brides wanting the same date and neither one has left a deposit. As you can imagine, one bride is going to very disappointed and there is nothing I can do about it. It’s first come first served and with the economy talking a dive you will be seeing more dates being booked without warning because everyone is going to scramble to fill their calendars as quickly as possible. Money is going to be tight and the most popular entertainers are going to book even faster in 2009 and 2010.

So, if you meet an entertainer that blows you away and comes highly recommended book them. You may want to ask for a few days to think it over, but get back to your vendors with an answer one way or the other. A professional should not take it personally when you choose to book with a competitor. After all, it could be price, personality or simply comfort level that tips the scale in one direction or another.

[ It benefits both parties to know where they stand. We’re not left wondering if a potential client is still interested in our services and the current bride on the phone with us can get a straight and clear answer as to whether or not we are available for their date. ]

Happy planning and see you in 2009!

Ron

UPDATE:
The couple who prompted this blog did not get back to us and lost the date to another couple who came ready to book. We gave the first couple over 4 weeks to think it over, making it very clear that we do not hold dates without a deposit.

Defining Value

2007-08-09T21:03:00.000-07:00

Value: 1. A fair equivalent or return for something as in goods or services., 2. Worth as measured in usefulness or importance; merit.

Sounds pretty simple when you read the dictionary's definition, doesn't it? But the reality is that when you sit down to write that check, the palms start to sweat, the butterflies start in the stomach and the second guessing starts and usually continues for a few days after you've written the check.

The problem is that "Value" means different things to different people. Some of our clients place a greater importance on the flowers, some on the cake, while still others find the ceremony or the dress to be the most important consideration.

Just as an example, one of my passions is working on my Jeep 4x4. I have wonderful brand new tools that fill two tool boxes, yet the most cherished tools I own are the ones left to me by my Grandfather. Whenever I get the chance to use one of his tools to complete a job, I feel as though he were here helping me - like he used to when I was young.

The point is that I value those old, beat-up, rusty and worn tools because of what they symbolize to me and if my house were to be robbed, I would hope they took the new tools and left me the ones that mean the most to me. I value the old stuff.

When it comes to vendors, value may take on a slightly different meaning. For instance; Christy and I work as a husband and wife team. She helps our clients with the planning, execution and guidance of the day while I do the heavy lifting, set-up, technical items and the actual entertaining. When you compare us to a DJ that simply shows up the day of your wedding to play the tunes, you can see where value comes into play. You get more bang for the buck with us than you would with an entertainer of the same or lower price who simply entertains.

The same holds true for caterers, photographers, bartenders, etc. How many people are included for the price? What service do each of those people perform? How many of those people will be there the day of the wedding? Do they subcontract or swap out employees without notice? In other words, exactly what are you getting for your money. That's how you should be determining "Value".

The best advice I can give a client is to be sure you are comparing apples to apples. If one disc jockey is half the price of another, ask each of them exactly what they are going to do for you. If both promise exactly the same services and you are on a budget, then obviously you have a valid reason for choosing the cheaper of the two. If, however, the cheaper of the two disc jockeys, does nothing more than play music, you can clearly see why he would be the cheaper of the two. You are simply not getting the same level of service as you would from the more expensive entertainer. Don't forget that a vendors' reputation also comes into play and that's hard to put a price tag on.

If the more expensive DJ will be an asset to not only your planning, but to the actual day itself, then you must consider the value he or she can bring to your day for the extra cash. Also, don't forget that many times those of us who plan weddings can actually save you money in the long run because we can prevent you from making costly mistakes and point you to vendors that we have worked with in the past that are reliable, professional and give you the most value for your hard earned dollar.

Value is something that only you can determine. It's a personal decision that you and your partner must define. Remember to compare like services, consider reputation, then look at price and go with your gut.

See you next month.

Ron

"Take the Honey and Run?"

2007-07-17T18:50:00.000-07:00

Also under constuction...

Vendors That Fit

2007-05-31T19:48:00.000-07:00

This blog is not yet finished. Please check back later.

"I Didn't Like My Cousin's DJ!"

2007-04-27T14:34:00.000-07:00

We can't tell you how many times we've had a potential client say this, or something similar to us during a consultation. The fact is, before you condemn the disc jockey, you need to ask yourself one question - is the DJ playing from the brides playlist or is he doing this on his own?

If the reason you didn't like the DJ that you saw at a recent event was the music choice, this is the million dollar question. Quite often we are hired by a client and told that we are professional entertainers, hired because of reputation and we should do what we do best - entertain. Other times we are given a list of anywhere from 40 to 200 songs and asked to stick to the list.

Now the list, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. It helps us to get a feel for what the bride and groom like to listen to and want to hear, which isn't so bad if the client likes music that everyone else will dance to. But what happens when the bride and groom insist on music that won't motivate a crowd and that you simply can't get a groove to?

I'll tell you what happens. You get people leaving the reception saying; "My sister's DJ sucked" or worse. Don't let this happen to you. When making your music selections, be realistic with the time you have for dancing - often times it's about two hours of dance time, after all is said and done. If you average between 3 and 4 minutes per song and divide that into 120 minutes you get about 30 or 40 songs! It doesn't seem possible does it? But it's true.

Of course your wedding may vary depending on how long the establishment takes to get the courses out and other variables, like how neat you are during the cake feeding and how many speeches and formalities you wish to have, but all in all, most wedding receptions average the same time frame.

Now if the DJ has a personality issue, well, you can't blame that on the bride and groom, but they probably never should have hired him or they hired an entertainer sight-unseen. Which is why it's important to meet your DJ face to face.

The most important music list we get from a client is the "do not play list". We can figure out what your guests want to hear by their reaction on the dance floor, or lack of it. We can't tell, however, what you don't like unless you tell us.

I hope this gets you thinking about what you hear at that next wedding reception you attend and more importantly, what you want to hear at your own wedding reception. Like I always say, happy guests are dancing guests!

Have fun planning and we'll see you next month.

A Wedding Favor

2007-02-25T19:51:00.000-08:00

This months blog came to me while I was thinking about Valentines Day and the upcoming wedding season. With the season kicking off in only a month, it won't be long until brides start asking me about advice on favors and bridal party gifts. So I got to thinking.

While thumbing through a magazine, I had seen an ad from an animal shelter picturing a puppy with sad eyes looking lovingly into the camera lens as if to say; "Please take me home!" And that's when it hit me. This month's blog!

Many of my brides over the years have opted to donate money to thier favorite charity in lieu of the traditional types of wedding favors, some have even given out small cards that read: "In place of a favor, a tree has been planted in your name." What a great idea. It sure beats a bag of candied almonds, doesn't it?

So here's my suggestion. Being the huge animal lover that I am, I'm asking you to consider donating the money you'd normally spend on favors, to your local or state humane society or no-kill animal shelter and place a card at each of your guest's seats, stating that in place of a favor, a donation has been made in your name to the humane society. Maybe you could actually picture a few of the animals at your local chapter that the money would go to help, with some info about each animal and how they could be adopted, if your guest was interested in doing so. This can be done quickly and cheaply with a visit to the shelter, a digital camera and a few hours of work on your computer and printer.

If I ever become wealthy, this is how I plan to spend a lot of my dollars and time. It is one of our saddest travesties in America, that so many perfectly healthy and lovable animals go unwanted and unloved - only to be disposed of.

To go a step further, if you're thinking of getting your partner that perfect gift that says "I love you", why not think about doing it with a rescue animal. It's a gift that can even love you back, unconditionally.

A wedding is a celebration of love and the start of a new life together. Why not consider making your new start, a new start for some deserving, unwanted dog or cat? Of course, please make sure you have the time and funds to devote to an animal before jumping head long into adoption, but if you do, thanks in advance.

You can find out more about saving a life right here at the following organizations:

The Ct Humane Society - http://www.cthumane.org/site/PageServer

Animals For Life - http://www.animalsforlifect.org/ 203-267-6777
Adoption Hours Thur. 5-7 PM, Sat. & Sun. 12-3 PM

ASPCA - www.aspca.org Linda Tiramani, Manager of Special Giving, 110 Fifth Avenue, Second Floor, New York, Newe York 10011, e-mail: lindat@aspca.org, 212-876-7700, ext. 4516

Thanks for considering this 'wedding favor'.

To JP or not JP, That Is The Question.

2007-01-31T19:49:00.000-08:00

Where has the time gone? If you’re looking for my blogs from October, November and December, you can stop looking. I was so busy that I just couldn’t get to them, but let’s get back to blogging, shall we?

This month I’m going to cover a topic that came up from one of my clients, concerning the ceremony itself. A Justice of the Peace ceremony, to be specific. The details covered here relate only to a Connecticut ceremony. If you are using a J.P., please consult with your state as to how the laws of that state apply to you.

This particular client had hired me to perform disc jockey and emcee duties at her reception and later remembered that I had mentioned that I was a justice of the peace at our initial consultation. She phoned and asked me if I would be willing to consider what may be a strange request. I replied that I was willing to listen. She then explained to me that she and her partner were planning a totally unconventional and simple affair with little or no formality.

She went on to tell me that she wanted her boyfriends’ uncle to perform the ceremony and that I would only be required to sign the paperwork. She also mentioned that she knew of other JP’s who have done this, so she thought it would be okay. She must have sensed that I was a little apprehensive because she asked if I was comfortable with this.

I replied, very honestly, that I had no problem doing anything for my clients, as long as it was within the law and that I would have to do some checking into the legality of this and get back to her. After a few phone calls to the Secretary of State’s office and the local Registrar of Voters, it was very clear that if I did this, I was putting my client in a position of possibly not having a legal marriage, especially if someone at the ceremony challenged the legality of it. It was also explained to me that it might make some of the guests in attendance feel “cheated” if they did not witness an actual ceremony. I got the distinct impression that the person I was speaking to, was speaking from experience – he was totally adamant about it. You could just feel it in his voice.

I phoned her back tell her of my discovery and that I would be willing to perform an actual, but very brief, ceremony either before or after the uncles words. I tried to talk her into having the uncle do his part only to have me step in at the very end and pronounce them man and wife publicly. We are still working things out as of this blog but I thought, as with all of my blogs, that sharing the events that come up, which are out of the ordinary, just may help another bride out there cope or decide what to do for her event.

In any case, here are a few facts as they pertain to CT, JP ceremonies’:

The marriage license must be issued by the registrar of vital statistics either in the town in which either person to be joined resides OR in the town where the ceremony will take place.

The JP requires that the bride and groom are the same persons named on the license.

The signatures of the bride, groom and registrar of vital statistics must be on the marriage license.

The raised seal of the registrar of vital statistics MUST be on the license.

The license must not have expired prior to the wedding date.

The bride and groom DO NOT get the marriage certificate - It MUST be completed in BLACK INK, signed by the JP and returned TO THE TOWN IN WHICH THE MARRIAGE TOOK PLACE as soon as possible.

Remember, as a justice of the peace, I have an obligation to not only my clients, but also to the State of Connecticut and all the laws that apply to that state and the office of JP.

Justice of the Peace is a political office with deep roots and history in Connecticut and making sure my clients have a real, bona-fide and legal marriage, is the main concern. Making it beautiful, heartfelt, touching and memorable is just, well, icing on the cake!

Big Day, Small Service

2006-09-29T20:28:00.000-07:00

This months post comes by way of a recent conversation with a client that shared yet another horror story of her initial contact with potential wedding disc jockeys.

While I do not profess to have all of the answers and I certainly don't intend for my blogs to give the impression that my way of doing business is the only way, I must admit that I continue to be amazed at the number of wedding vendors that violate some of the most basic and common sense rules of business, yet they continue to work in our industry. I don't know how they do it.

One of those 'common sense rules' I'm talking about is the initial phone conversation and the follow up call. Last week we met with a couple who shared their story of their search for a DJ. She had gone on line, browsed the phone book, talked to friends, attended a bridal fair and took all of the steps that most brides take when looking for a vendor. She narrowed down her search to the few she decided to contact and proceeded to call and/or email each one.

While each DJ had answered the phone or responded to her email, it was how they did this that puzzled her. Some were abrupt, rude, disinterested, cold, robotic or otherwise disconnected from the potential client that they had right there on the phone. Still another one or two simply took her name and address and sent her a "package" in the mail without ever inquiring about the type of DJ she wanted or what her budget was. What aggravated her about the package she received was that it contained your standard brochure, a business card and a few other pieces of generic fluff - briefly describing what they did and how they did it, but little else. Most didn't even contain a price list or a personalized greeting. She just didn't feel a connection with any of them. She stated that she felt as if they didn't care whether they got her business or not. And you guessed it, many didn't even follow up with a phone call to make sure she even received the information that they'd sent.

This is the point of this blog. As a couple who are planning a wedding, you simply should not be made to feel this way. There is nothing more aggravating and disappointing than handing over your cash to a person who does not seem excited and interested in your wedding day - and I don't care if your talking about DJs or limo drivers, bakers, caterers or banquet managers. The people you contact should jump out of their seats when that phone rings and bend over backwards for you - being flattered that you even contacted them. Getting the phone to ring in this business is 50% of the secret to being successful. Delivering a outstanding performance and making good on all of your promises is the other 50%. Don't settle for any wedding vendor who behaves in a manner that doesn't make you feel like the only bride and groom on the face of this Earth, period. This is a BIG day, don't settle for SMALL service.

Weddings are all about service and fulfilling dreams - your dreams. Great service isn't rocket science, yet you'd think that it was an alien concept after talking to some of our clients that come in to our office and share stories about their search for wedding vendors. Again, the secret to not having to settle is to start early, at least a year in advance and take your time choosing. At the same time, when you find someone who blows your socks off, don't hesitate to hire them. You'll kick yourself later if you wait too long and they give away your date away to another couple!

Remember, most professionals will not hold a date without a deposit, so bring your check book just in case a vendor blows you away. Leave it in the car if it makes you feel less pressured, but don't risk losing your choice of wedding professional by trying to schedule another meeting. We've had clients walk out of our office and two hours or two days later, another couple will call looking for the same date. This is a business after all and a vendor can't wait forever for a couple to decide. At that point it's first come, first served - and nothing is worse than when we have to make that call telling someone their date is no longer available because they waited too long to make a decision. Sometimes it's just impossible to contact a potential client when another potential client is interested in the same date and that puts a vendor in a very tough situation.

To close, I guess I'm just a little old fashioned when it comes to expecting great service, but I'm not lowering my expectations or my standards anytime soon. In this day and age of out-sourcing and telecommuting, I'll take my service the old-fashioned way - thank you very much - I want more than I paid for. How about you?

In your search for wedding vendors, if the person on the other end of that phone isn't happy to hear from you, hang up and give me a call. Even if you don't hire me, we'll have a great conversation!

Happy hunting and see you soon.

What Do I Do With My DJ?

2006-08-30T17:55:00.000-07:00

One of the items that came up with one of our brides over the past couple of weeks was Disc Jockey placement.

When given the choice, where should I have my DJ set up? Here's one scenario:

The venue we were at this particular evening usually has their entertainers set up their gear on a balcony overlooking the dance floor. We first heard of the facility's intention to set the DJ up on the balcony during our initial consultation, before we were hired. While I normally have no problem doing stairs, I was reminded of a situation at another venue where we were instructed to set up on the balcony. Of course, we complied with the request and moved our gear up stairs and set up shop.

The reception started normally enough and we didn't think twice about our location and how it would affect our ability to interact with the audience. But when dinner had ended and dancing started, it was a whole new ball game. The guests would not make the climb up the stairs to make requests and each time I spoke on the mic, everyone had to creek their necks to look up and it felt very much like I was annoying them by the end of the evening. I can assure you that when we do an event, there is minimal banter on the microphone unless I am running a raffle, making introductions of honored guests or have been requested to play games with the audience by the bride and groom. Needless to say I had very little influence over the crowd which resulted in my not being able to motivate or relate to them as well and hence there was little dancing and more importantly, there was very little electricity in the air that evening.

Every wedding where we are asked or forced to be a great distance away from the guests has resulted in a less than stellar reception. Why? It's simple. As an entertainer, I need to develop a relationship with your guests, even if it's only one where they feel that I am friendly enough to approach with requests. I only have a few hours to do this and the sooner it happens the better. It does not need to be done with a lot of talking or banter on the mic, but it is crucial to the success of your reception just the same. More often than not, being near the dance floor and being able to talk with your guests as they come up to me makes all the difference in the world. It's eye contact, a smile, a joke or a laugh shared - all the little things that make a difference and you just can't have that level of interaction if you're a mile away from the dance floor. The dance floor is where the action is.

On a side note - also remember to keep the older folks who may be annoyed at loud music at a farther distance from the DJ's speakers when planning your seating arrangement.

In short, when your doing your floor plan, keep in mind the position of your DJ or band and ask yourself how it will affect your atmosphere. While a facility may suggest that you put your DJ in some out-of-the-way corner, remember, it's your wedding and your hard-earned cash so stand your ground - as our bride this past weekend did. We were next to the dance floor, with her guests. We were able to talk and joke with them, developed an instant rapport and we kept them dancing right until the last minute of the reception. It was a total success and it was apparant to the facility manager (who took a huge stack of our business cards), after witnessing the hugs, kisses and glowing reviews we received from our clients before they left for their honeymoon.

Hope this adds a little boost to your planning and best wishes for your most special day!

"Nothing Ever Goes As Planned"

2006-07-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

"If You Want To Hear God Laugh, Tell Him Your Plans."

That's a quote that sits on my desk to remind me that just when you think you've got it all under control, WHAM! No you don't. I don't know who said it or when they said it, but I love it because it's true everyday on some level.

A few weeks ago, my wife was involved in a very bad car accident. While sitting at a red light, at a complete stop mind you, she was rear-ended by an inexperienced 19 year-old driver. The impact pushed her Toyota Camry into the Subaru in front of her which was pushed into the Toyota SUV in front of it. Four cars in all were involved. Needless to say, my wife's car was totaled and my wife sustained neck and back injuries. Having been a firefighter for 6 years, it was easy to estimate the speed at which the kid was traveling to be about 50 MPH. He pushed three parked cars putting 2 people in the hospital. The infant in the Toyota SUV was shaken up but not hurt.

So, you ask, what does this have to do with your wedding? I think you know where I'm going with this. You know how important it is to have everything go exactly right the day of your wedding. For the better part of a year you have been researching and planning and stressing over every detail. The napkins, the table linens, centerpieces, favors, invitations, flowers, isle runner - the list goes on and on. You get tunnel vision- becoming completely absorbed by every aspect of the planning and all of the emotion that goes into it. It needs to be perfect.

Well, perfect only exists in our minds and in the movies so let's let that thought go right now. I know that in previous blogs I've covered this subject but in light of my wife's accident I thought it was important to share with you the reality of just how fragile and insignificant we all are. The phone call I got that day could have been a lot worse and could have ended much differently. Instead of being told my wife was in an accident, the call could have requested that I come down to identify the body. Now, imagine that!

Now, imagine that happening the day of your wedding. Horrifying, isn't it? Having said that, tell me - what could possibly go so wrong the day of your wedding that could possibly be worse than that? That's right, nothing. Anything that goes wrong the day of your event is insignificant if everyone you love and hold dear is alive and well. Let the cake fall or melt. So what if the ice sculpture is a fish when you wanted a mermaid? Who cares if there's no surf with the turf because the kitchen forgot to thaw out the shrimp. Big deal, the limosine is black instead of white. Okay, okay it's pouring outside - so you get wet! Oops, the CD that your father burned last night for the DJ to use as your first dance won't play on his equipment! (all of those scenarios have actually happened to some of our brides ) It's no big deal. An inconvenience, yes - but big deal?, no!

Please don't misunderstand my point here. I'm not saying that as a wedding professional I don't care if your wedding day isn't perfect, because I do care. My wife and I have caught many things that, if left unchecked, would have turned into a small disaster. As an example, we have walked into a room to find that the florist never came and all the flowers were missing from the tables. Groomsmen about to walk down the aisle without boutonnieres attached to their lapels. Cakes sliding or falling off of the cake table from the heat of the day or not decorated at all because the florist left without finishing the fresh-flower look the bride wanted. The list could go on.

I hope that after reading this you understand the intention with which I wrote it, especially if you're on the edge from wedding planning stress and ready to lose it. My wish is that you keep your plans grounded and face reality square on. Don't let your mind's expectation ruin the most beautiful day of your life by raising the bar so high, reality can't live up to it. It happens to more brides than you know and it's not funny when we see a bride have a melt down. Nothing is worth ruining your day over. To be honest, we've seen some brides throw a wedding together in a few months that goes as well or better than some weddings that were a year or more in the making. Sometimes less time to plan equals less time to stress, however, I would guess that a bride who can plan a wedding in a few months is also the type of bride that would let a lot more roll off of her back if something weren't perfect.

So, remember what's truly important - like the people that you love and that nothing ever goes as planned, but every once in a while perfection happens - in spite of all of life's twists and turns - and that's the best you can hope for.

Wedding Magazines, Blessing or Curse?

2006-06-30T19:42:00.000-07:00

Well, as promised, here is my article on wedding magazines and how I feel about them.

One of the reasons that I felt the need to write an article like this was spurred by a popular wedding magazine that came across my desk back in the early nineties. Tucked neatly inside, under the heading of "wedding entertainment", was an article telling brides-to-be exactly how to go about interviewing and choosing a wedding entertainer.

The advice went on - your standard fare advice really - until I came across this statement: "If your DJ is still using vinyl, LOSE HIM!" Remember, this was around 1994. For those of you too young to remember, vinyl refers to a record, an LP - you know, what your grandparents listened to when they were kids!

Fast forward to a few months ago, and there it was again. The same article, almost word for word, this time stating that 'if your DJ is still using CDs, lose him!' I couldn't believe it. This is the type of advice that creates neurotic brides.

I can certainly understand the concern for choosing a DJ with professional equipment, we tell our potential clients that all pro DJs should be using road worthy, professional gear, but give me a break. With all the other criteria that a couple should be concerning themselves with when choosing a DJ, whether or not he uses CDs, MP3s or whatever latest and greatest format is out there, isn't one of them. As long as the music sounds great, is played through professional equipment that is pleasing to the eye and the ear and the DJ has the music you're looking for, you shouldn't worry about the format.

Following advice like this is liable to get you a disc jockey that has the latest gear on the market, is a whiz at manipulating music and mixes, can impress you with his technical knowledge but has zero personality or worse, can't entertain a crowd to save his or her life!

This is just one example of why I feel these magazines should be taken with a grain of salt. They re-hash, re-write and re-dispense the same information over and over -year after year, and why? To sell magazines, that's why. They make money when you buy a magazine, then purchase something from one of their advertisers who in turn increases his advertising budget with them - and the cycle continues.

These publications are fine for getting very basic guidance, finding ideas for flatware, cake designs and honeymoon hot spots. They also can't be beat for getting an idea of how colors will work when decorating your banquet hall or choosing your bridesmaid color scheme and what the latest trend is for tuxedos and dresses. After all, a picture is truly worth a thousand words. However, I'm confident that the person typing at his computer, trying to make a deadline with his next article, hasn't run one solitary wedding in his ife. Yet they dispense away.

Also, keep in mind that advertisers in these mags do not have to verify that they are a legitimate business. I once caught an advertiser commiting fraud in one of the most widely read wedding publications in Connecticut. I phoned the editor and spoke to her in person explaining the situation and informed her that I could prove my claim. She referred to this advertiser as her "Valued Client" and told me that there was nothing she could do and would continue to do business with him as long as his checks cleared. Touching, isn't it? Looking out for your best interests, aren't they? By the way this advertiser is no more! I took care of it.

Ask yourself this - if you had a couple thousand dollars to invest, would you take investment advice from the homeless guy downtown or the millionaire down the street who invests on a regular basis? I thought so.

Bonafide wedding professionals, like myself, work a wedding or two, (sometimes three), a week, 52 weeks a year. We've been in business since 1989. Do the math. That's a lot of weddings. That's experience and it's something you should consider when you pick up the magazine off the newsstand. You can get advice from anywhere, just consider the source. Do you want it from someone who lives it or simply writes about it? Futhermore, are the articles written by reputable wedding pros to begin with? Who knows?

If you haven't guessed, I have a bone to pick with the wedding mags. I feel that they push a bride's expectations up to unrealistic levels, show you things you cannot afford or should not afford (and make you want them), and as a result they help to destroy your budget and many times they take the fun out of planning a wedding by scaring you with information overload and woulda, shoulda coulda's.

By all means, buy the mag if you want to, flip through the pages and get some great ideas, but keep grounded, stay on budget and don't let flashy photography and slick advertising put you in the poor house. Most importantly, remember that there is no such thing as a perfect wedding, a perfect mate or a perfect life. It all takes work, committment and dedication and every once in a while something goes off track. Roll with it and enjoy the ride.

See you next month.

"Am I Ruining My Own Wedding?"

2006-05-30T06:40:00.000-07:00

In previous posts, I covered the topics of 'who's responsible for your good time' and 'is your wedding being hi-jacked?'. This month I wanted to combine the two and get a little more in depth into what happens when the bride and groom are responsible for the demise of their own wedding. This is going to be a long post, so I apologize in advance, but one worth reading!

As an example, we recently sat down with a couple who told us what they were looking for in a disc jockey, they seemed to be a good fit with our style and were very happy with how we described what it is we do and how we operate. They signed with us immediately. The first thing we tell all of our clients is that they must be comfortable with their entertainer and to trust their gut- even if it isn't us that they choose.)

Without going into extreme detail, they wanted a DJ with our style - no crazy games or antics, no stand-up comedy or foolishness, just straight entertainment and an emcee with sophistication and elegance. They wanted a fun atmosphere with all of the fun music - something we do extremely well.

Fast forward to a few months before their event... all of a sudden they no longer wanted the proven music that works to get people on the dance floor, they inquired about what 'games' we would play with the guests and went on to give us a request list that would be sure to ruin even the most fun and best planned wedding! What happened to that couple we met with last year? Who were these people and who have they been getting advice from?

Being professionals who will give our clients what they want, we explained that we don't normally go to that level of interaction at a wedding but we would be happy to work in whatever capacity they wanted as long as it didn't compromise my reputation, however...

We did have to warn them that what they were planning does not work at most weddings and the initial level of elegance and sophistication that they were after would be out the window. You simply cannot have 'gameshow host' entertainment and have it come off as sophisticated. Obviously they were reading some wedding magazines touting the benefits of the 'over-the-top DJ'or talking to someone who sold them on the idea that 'more DJ is a better DJ', which is simply not true. 'More DJ' is often times, too much DJ.

In any case, we were able to talk them down from that elevated expectation, 'movie-moment' wedding that they were picturing in their minds and explained to them that weddings have a life of their own once they start rolling and the best weddings are the ones where the crowd dictates what gets played and the direction and level of 'fun'.

So, let's go over the areas where a couple can throw a monkey-wrench into their wedding plans:

First, the number one motivation for micro-managing your wedding day is the false feeling that if every detail is nailed down and you can somehow control every minute of the event, you'll have the perfect wedding. WRONG! Life doesn't work that way and neither do weddings. If you go into your wedding planning with this game plan you will not only have a miserable time planning it, you will have a miserable day. That is not how wedding planning should be, so don't do this to yourself. There is a huge difference between an outline of events and minute by minute control.

Second, most brides go through this mind set of trying to make their day completely different from any wedding that ever took place on the face of this Earth. Sorry, can't be done. It's all been done before and we've seen it. All weddings are the same. Read it again - ALL WEDDINGS ARE THE SAME. Two people join hands, say some vows, exchange rings, say 'I do' and kiss, then some dinner and maybe dancing. Presto, a wedding!

Sounds completely indifferent of me doesn't it? Well don't panic, that's not how I feel about weddings - but you must realize how it feels to do hundreds upon hundreds of weddings, see the same mistakes being made by couples over and over again and not be able to save them from themselves. It's frustrating to say the least.

One of the most interesting things that happens at a wedding doesn't even happen at the wedding, it happens after the wedding as we are tearing down our gear and loading the truck. What is it? It's the conversations that take place between the wedding facility staff. We hear things said that would send the bride into orbit if she heard it - from how 'needy' the bride was to how 'tacky' the colors were - and everything in between. As a matter of fact, it's where we hear exactly what the facility thought about the event and sadly, many times they are right on the money. Keep in mind that wedding facilities usually do back-to-back weddings on Friday and Saturdays, 52 weeks a year. Do the math - that's 208 weddings a year. If you went to 208 weddings a year, how many would seem different from each other? Not many I'm afraid.

Third, and one of the best ways to ruin your reception, is the song list you give to your DJ. Again, in an effort to be different, brides take away a DJ's ammunition by refusing to let us play many of the all time favorite songs that people EXPECT TO HEAR at a wedding. There is an expectation on the part of your guests. They want to hear the Electric Slide, the YMCA, Old Time Rock n' Roll, etc, etc. It may seem 'hokey' to you, but they want to have fun. Isn't that why you invited them? Or do you expect them to love YOUR music? If they don't dance to 'Techno', who's fault is it? Yours. If you play Vivaldi all night because YOU love it and your guests leave early, who's fault is it? Yours, of course. I think you get the point.

Let me explain it the way I see it.
The reception isn't for you, it's for your guests. You've asked friends and family to travel, shell out hard-earned cash, give of their time, show their support and you repay them how? By making them have what YOU see as a good time? Sit through what YOU decide is good music? What about what they want? They want to DANCE! So let them dance - to what makes them dance! It couldn't be more simple. You hired a professional DJ, now let him do his job and find what the crowd wants to dance to. A packed dance floor is a successful wedding reception!

Now, I know that I'm going to have some DJs and wedding professionals who read this shaking their heads, or fists at me because it flies in the face of what they tell you to close the deal, but the truth hurts. What they should be telling you is how you can make the wedding day an 'individual' event without sacrificing the whole reception. Let's look at this:

The way I see it, the reception is for your guests, we've covered that. So where do you come in? Where does it get to be your day? In the details, that's where.

First of all, you have to realize that there will never be two people exactly like the two of you in the whole universe, there's a starting point right there. You have to focus on what makes you and your partner special, alone and to each other, and celebrate that. The best way to personalize your day is in your vows, in your attire, your ceremony music choice, the ceremony location, the readings, your color choices and the unique ideas that only you can come up with. Again, it's a tough job because much of it has all been done before and if you're having a traditional wedding in the style of your faith, your hands may be tied as to how far you can veer off course. Writing your vows or adding to them is the most personal addition you can make to your day. Remember, you should be focusing on your relationship first and foremost - that's what the day is really all about - a fact that many a bride gets off-track from. It doesn't get more individual than that. Once the reception starts, sorry, but minus the first dance and cake cutting, it's all about the guests.

Giving your entertainer a rigid and unbending song list or one that is excessively laden with off-beat or eclectic music, is a sure fire way to ruin the reception, it's that simple. Throw in silly games and one too many interruptions to dancing and you'll lose the crowd every time. Only you can decide in the end, we can only suggest. Oh, and one last piece of advise in this month's article - throw your bridal magazines in the trash. They're great for pictures of wedding gowns and ideas for china and silverware, but beyond that, they've ruined more weddings with their ridiculous, rehashed advise, than I can count - but that's shaping up to be next months topic!

Happy planning and enjoy the process.

Holiday and Corporate Events

2006-04-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

This month I'd like to discuss the holiday and corporate event. You may think that it's a bit early to be thinking of the holidays, but let me assure you, it's not. The reason it's not too early is that for a successful event, you need to have all items nailed down and planned out well in advance and the sooner you start the more smoothly your event will run, and if you've been reading any of my previous blogs, you'll know that your stress level will be much lower as well.

For starters you need to remember that as holiday events go, your straight-up Christmas/Holiday event is the easiest to book because you have multiple days with which to work. A Holiday or Christmas event can be booked from December 1st to just before Christmas, so DJ and band availability is not that big an issue. When it comes to holidays like Halloween, Valentines Day, Fourth of July, etc., you get only one day or one prime weekend to work with. New Year's Eve of course, is prime for all entertainers and many will book this night a year in advance. It's also premium price night - translated: you're going to pay. I do not know any disc jockey that works for under $1200.00 on this night and the longer you wait to book it, the less room you have for price negotiations. So if you're throwing a New Year's Eve bash, be warned, start as early as possible.

If you're on an entertainment committee for your place of employment or social group, you may already be experiencing the anxiety and stress that comes with event planning. Don't panic. You've already found a great resource by coming to this site and you're a click away from contacting us if you need professional guidance, and of course, we'd also love to handle your entertainment needs! The important thing to remember here is that you need to define exactly what it is you are trying to accomplish. Questions like: Is this party multi-cultural or multi-denominational as in Christmas or "Holiday"? Will it be formal or casual? Sit-down meal, buffet or strictly hor'devours? Is your company or social group paying or will each person contribute? Is this party primarily for dancing, socializing, award ceremonies, speeches or all of the above? Will there be raffles, prizes or give-aways and who will take care of those items? Do you need a Master of Ceremonies or just background music?

These and many other questions must be answered well in advance in order for your party or event to flow smoothly. Many people don't allow for all of the time that these things take up. They handle this stuff 'on the fly', then wonder why the party flopped, having run out of time for dancing or having the dancing interuppted too many times, leaving your guests with the feeling they couldn't relax and enjoy. It happens at weddings too. A balance is key to the evening's success. You have to remember that once people are dancing and having fun, stopping and starting the evening's events destroys the flow and ruins any groove the disc jockey has going. Sometimes it's just impossible to get them back out on the floor. Once one person grabs thier coat and heads for the door, many times, others follow. As I've said in previous blogs, you want your guests on the dance floor, otherwise, why have a DJ?

Having stated that holiday parties are the easiest to book does not mean that they are the easiest to plan. In today's politically correct corporate enviroment it's tough to get everyone on the same page and even tougher to make them all happy. The bottom line here is that if you are heading up the committee, you need to stand firm and make some decisions. If anyone has a rough time with the plans made by your group, they need to step up next year and get on the planning committee themselves. It's easy to judge others until you've walked a mile in their shoes. That's not to say we don't need to be respectful of others religious beliefs, opinions etc., it simply means that once you define the type of event you're having, corporate or otherwise, you need to move forward. Six months into your "Christmas Party" plans, you can't be derailed by those who want to change everything around. Next year, hand the torch to them. I promise that you cannot make everyone happy. There will always be someone who is unhappy with something - don't let it get to you.

Many corporations have done away with the holiday event completely because of the difficulty of the task. We have seen a decline over the years and I believe it is directly related to two things; political correctness and money. Between the pressure that comes from not wanting to offend anyone, to the concern over the bottom line, it gets harder and harder to pull off successful corporate holiday parties. Even music selection gets dicey when religion enters into it. It's not easy. So, what's the secret? There isn't any. It's all in the planning and leg work. Communication is key at the inception of the idea. You need to know what it is you want, your group wants and your employer wants - then you need to tie it all together.

To recap: start planning as early as possible, talk to all the people involved so that your direction is clear - forming a committee if necessary, get a list of the evenings events down on paper so you know the flow of the night and decide what the theme will be so that your entertainer can format successfully musically. Remember that you will not please everybody no matter how hard you try and using your DJ for help and advice during the planning of the event will be an asset to the evening and help reduce your stress level overall.

If you are lucky enough to be planning a corporate event or holiday/Christmas party, good luck with the event and we hope this blog helps out in some way. Of course we'd love to hear from you and as always remind you not to delay the selection of your entertainer or location of event. The sooner you start the better. Have an outstanding event!

Who's Responsible For Your Good Time?

2006-03-16T19:35:00.001-08:00

I've been putting off writing on this subject because among professional disc jockeys, the sales pitch many give, would have you believe that it's the DJ who is solely responsible for the fun that your guests have. I'm going to get flack for this, but I'm going to say it anyway - "It's not entirely true." There, I've said it - now let me explain.

Anyone working in the entertainment field is going to want you to believe that if you hire them, your party or event will be the most fabulous, successful gala in all of history. Who could blame them? We are simply trying to earn your business and as professionals we are confident that we can create a festive and exciting atmosphere for your guests and deliver on that promise. There is nothing dishonest about that pitch. What bothers me is that it can be very misleading and depending on your crowd, perceived as an outright lie.

As an example; It happened to us just this past weekend. A mom was throwing a surprise party for her 30 year old son. It was at a small hall with about 44 people in attendance, your typical fare buffet and some appropriate birthday decorations and balloons thrown in. It was pretty much as she described it would be when we met with her months earlier. She had given us a play list, informing us that she wanted a wide variety of music played because of the wide range of ages that would be in attendance. Guest would range from 16 to 65 years of age, no surprises there. The list included Dean Martin , Tony Bennett, Nora Jones, etc. as well as your typical 'fun'party material. No Rap or profanity.

We had been playing exactly what the client had requested up to and through dinner and it didn't take long before we got our first complaint. Of course it was from a young man who's approach could only be described as 'super smooth' and he was wondering if we could maybe play something a little more -'fun'. I explained to him that I was playing off of the clients request list but I would be happy to play any request that he would like to hear, provided that I had it with me, but that I could not deafen the crowd while they were trying to talk over dinner. He wanted to hear 'Game'. "FUN!", I thought. I could not play lyrical content like that in a crowd with kids and grandmothers, and I told him so. He would have to wait to hear his 'fun' song until after they left.

Next, a young girl comes up and asks for a similar request. "FUN", I thought again, and explained that I was using a list from the birthday boys mom, but would get it on for her later. Of course, we did pick up the pace with what I thought was 'fun' music, after all, this stuff works at all of my weddings - nope, not here, not tonight. "Love Shack", "Mustang Sally", "Respect", "I Will Survive", 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's. Nope, again - not tonight. I could count the dancers on two hands. The slow stuff worked, as it always does - I just couldn't "hook 'em" with anything fast.

Only five hours of this, I thought! So, what can a DJ do? Trivia? Games? No! The client didn't want a lot of that. We simply had to sit by and watch people leaving. We felt horrible. The entire night, we were trying to figure out what we did wrong - and then it happened.

ALCOHOL happened. It had to be! We did nothing different, when suddenly, one guy gets crazy, then two, then three, four, five couples now out - all the guests are on the floor. It took one or two crazy drunk, having the time of their lives, party animals to get everybody else in the room up and dancing and that's where they stayed for the rest of the night! I wish I had video.

Nothing I did or said all night could do it and believe me, the only other option was stand-up comedy and at that point, I'm no longer a DJ, I'm a comedian and that's not what I do nor was hired to do. I should mention that the client was happy and did not hold me responsible for the slow start. We threw everything at them and she knew it. She was disgusted with her guests, not us.We did nothing wrong and the music was great.

So, how does this relate to your wedding? Simple. You are responsible for you own good time. That's it. You. And your guests, of course.

If you believe that the entertainer you hire has the sole power to control your guests, you may be disappointed. We can only motivate. Through music, a little laughter, some banter with the audience and 'ice breaking' techniques that are time proven - but above and beyond that, we are disc jockeys. Yes, we certainly hold the power to make or break your day, but how far do you want your DJ to go to get your guests dancing? I have seen DJ's destroy a party in an effort to populate the dance floor. The "Wedding Singer" or "Lounge Act" comes to mind. And the sad part is, some of these guys think this is a "technique". It's not, especially not at a formal or sophisticated wedding or similar event.

Everyone has their own idea of what's 'fun' and what 'fun' music is. A lot of it depends on what year you were born in! By the way, this is the reason for all of those overplayed, cliche' songs that many don't like to hear again and again - you know, 'the Electric Slide', 'Old Time Rock 'n Roll', "I Will Survive", "It's Raining Men", etc., etc. We use them to get the dance floor packed because, you guessed it, they pack a dance floor. They are DJ tools and if you think you're sick of hearin' 'em... Keep that in mind the next time you tell a DJ that those songs, and others like them, are off limits.

I not only wanted to bring this to your attention, I can prove it's true. In an effort to prove it to myself, not too long ago, we wrote down all of the music played at one of our most outrageously successful events. We then took that play list and used it, in it's exact order, at several other weddings. The result? All of the events were completely different from each other with various reaction from the crowd. There is simply no way to 'guarantee' a packed dance floor. It's a misleading promise and it's not fair to the bride or groom. I can tell you this; the crowd does tend to be where the bride and groom are, so if you're smart, you'll spend as much time as you can on the dance floor. Our most successful events are the ones where both the bride and groom DANCE!

As a disc jockey, there is no greater measure of success than a packed dance floor, BUT, I can't make you have a good time. You're responsible for that.

Is Your Wedding Being Hi-Jacked?

2006-02-20T21:10:00.000-08:00

Is your wedding being hi-jacked?

By whom, you ask? Well, it could be by a number of people, but we are going to start by looking at your friends and family first.

As hard as it may be to believe, the very ones you hold near and dear to you may turn out to be the enemy. We say that with the greatest respect and humor by the way, because we don't mean it to be cruel. It's just a wedding fact.

Throughout the planning process you will find yourself receiving unsolicited advice on all things "wedding". From dresses to favors, DJs to churches and reception sites to color schemes. It will come from friends, family, coworkers and complete strangers. All they need to know is that you're getting married and the fun begins. And the worst part is, you may have brought it all on yourself.

The key to cutting down on "wedding hi-jacking" is to play your cards "close to the vest" . Don't advertise your intentions on every facet of your day and keep the big decisions between you and your partner. Avoid taking anyone shopping with you until you've narrowed down your options to just a few - the best of the best. This applies equally across the board to all aspects of the day including your wedding vendors. There is simply no need to involve everyone you know in all of your decisions unless you want a barrage of opinions and additional stress.

This does not mean that you should exclude important people from the biggest day of your life. What it means is that if you want to retain control, creative or otherwise, you'd better lay the groundwork by limiting what options those you bring into the process have. For instance, if you take your mom shopping for a gown on the very first day you shop, she'll have input on every single dress you try on. Instead, shop by yourself initially, narrow it down to a few choices and have the dress shop prepare to have those dresses available for the two of you the next time you come in. Now she gets to help you pick from the three, four or five that you like, instead of the thirty that she might! And if your're dead-set against wearing her gown, let her know up-front, don't put it off and try to "break it to her gently"later, this way you can get on with picking the gown you want.

The same goes for your bridesmaids. Giving them free reign to help choose gowns, shoes and accessories on the first outing is simply asking for a headache. Narrow down your choices to a few and let them try and work out a decision from there. To be fair, keep in mind that not everyone fits into or looks good in the same color or cut of gown or shoe and when you're asking someone to shell out hard earned cash for your day, you can bet they may be a little less than eager to do so on a purchase that they do not agree with or that simply does not fit or flatter!

Our advice to our couples here is to tell your attendants to pick a gown that they like and try to match the colors of your day. They do not have to be identicle and this way they may actually get to wear the dress again someday in the future. This, of course, is not popular with everyone as tradition has dictated for so long that all bridesmaids wear the same thing - but this tradition is changing.

Another thing to keep in mind is that if you are going to be accepting money from family to help pay for your day, you are also going to have to accept some potentially unwanted or unwelcome input, and this is where it can get nasty. We have seen parents take complete control over the days' events - from what DJ gets hired to how the bride wears her hair. This is something that only you can nip in the bud and it's going to depend on how strong you are, your relationship with your mom, dad or both and how important it is to you that you get your way. Is it worth the hurt feelings and potential heartache? Only you can answer that after you've assessed the situation.

Lastly, don't let your wedding vendors push you into or talk you out of something, unless they can prove to you why they feel that way, whether it's the time leading up to your wedding day or the day of. For example, we have seen photographers who monopolize a couple's time so much the day of their wedding, that they did not get to enjoy a moment of their reception, as well as DJs, reception hall managers, videographers and pastors who have become pushy and overbearing and simply ruined the mood of the event by forgetting the reason they're there in the first place. It's all about the bride, by the way.

There are many ways and many levels of what I call "wedding hi-jacking", some are subtle, others are outright hairpullers. To avoid the majority of it, start your planning early, don't obsess or discuss too much with friends, family or co-workers too early and do as much legwork and shopping as you can by yourself or with your partner, this way you've given those you'd like to include in your day a way to feel as though they made a contribution and yet you've still retained creative control and piece of mind.

Remember, it's your wedding, enjoy it!

Why Wait On The Entertainment?

2006-01-30T20:52:00.000-08:00

It never ceases to amaze me. Almost every couple that comes into our office has put off choosing their wedding entertainment until one of the very last items on their to-do list. To top it off, many feel that this is one area where they can afford to save a few bucks. This is unfortunate and also dangerous to the overall outcome of your day.

Let's take as an example a $20,000.00 wedding budget. Most of that will go to food, reception hall and alcohol while another big chunk will be allotted to the dress, shoes, accessories, bridal party gifts, limo, favors, etc.
Now consider the cake. It's not unusual to find cakes priced from three to five dollars a slice. Multiply five dollars times two hundred guests and you've got yourself a $1,000.00 cake! Crazy, isn't it?

So, how much do you have left for your Disc Jockey? Is it $6oo.oo, $700.00, $800.00 dollars? Think about it. You're willing to spend $1,000.00 on a cake which contributes very little to the atmosphere and success of your day, yet your DJ, who can make or break your event, isn't worth $1000.00. This is backward thinking and must be turned around.

With all of the time, effort and emotion that you're going to put into your wedding planning, do yourself a favor and start looking for your entertainer at least one year in advance. Look for someone who is willing to help you plan and organize your day - someone with the personality, skill and talent to make your big day the one you've dreamed about for so long.

You'll also want to be sure the DJ company that you choose reflects your personality and shares the vision of your day and is willing to build a relationship with you. After all, you're going to be spending a year with this person, (if you've taken my advice), so choose based on the level of service, commitment, professionalism and reputation - not price. We've all purchased sale items only to discover that if we had spent a few dollars more, we would have gotten a substantially better product.

This doesn't mean that you should pick the most expensive DJ that comes down the pike either. Expensive doesn't always mean better. It does mean that you should compare like services and weigh "bang for the buck" value vs. price and reputation.

Contract a professional DJ early in the planning stage and you'd be surprised how helpful they can be. A true professional will be "plugged in" to a network of fellow professionals who can make planning your wedding a joy - instead of a potentially stressful nightmare.

A recent survey of newlyweds revealed that when asked how happy they were with the outcome of their wedding day, most said that in hindsight, they would have spent more of their wedding budget on higher quality entertainment. It just makes sense - your entertainment is what your guests are going to remember about your reception. Dancing guests are happy guests.

Our advice;
1. Set aside 10-15% of your total budget for your wedding DJ and book them at least one year in advance. (Before the money's all gone!)
2. Choose a DJ service that includes planning or coordinating then utilize them for their experience and professional connections. (It'll lower your stress level)
3. Make sure the entertainer you hire is the one who will actually be at your reception and get it in writing.
4. Don't hire any wedding vendor without a signed contract. Period.
5. Listen to your gut. Try to get a connection from your DJ. They should be as vested and interested in your day as you are.
6. If you've gotten a DJ on a great referral, follow it up with a meeting, call their references and don't drag your feet. If you know three people who have used them, gave them glowing reviews and liked them - hire them! Why go with an unknown?

Your wedding is one of life's most beautiful events and a stepping stone to your future. Start planning early, look at your budget realisticly, cut out the meaningless fluff so you have more dollars for what matters most and enjoy the process - it shouldn't be a stress-fest.

And why wait on the entertainment?